Friday, 12 December 2008


I paint my face white, draw black - whoops - around my eyes and plaster my lips with a shaky hand these days. My wig is old but still serves a purpose. Better get a move on or they’ll be here, little darlings. Mummy and daddy’s joy, certainly not mine.

Raucous Red, I relish the snap as I stretch your elongated neck to greet my boozy breath. Fluted tube, behave yourself or I’ll strangle you into Sausages, Poodle, Sword, maybe. One for the boys I think.

Perfect Pink your tantalizing pear shape makes my fingers tremble, cursed minx. I shall tie you up with green stem and call you Daisy!

I puff and pant intoxicated life to delight bright, expectant eyes until child’s play leads to the inevitable BANG, reducing hours of strenuous vigour to tears, theirs, not mine.

Yellow? I need another tipple before I tackle your snake fish charms my dear.


  1. Very effusive. I like it. I read tipple first as nipple, but maybe that's just because you excited me with the lushness of the language. Really like the line:

    ...stretch your elongated neck to greet my boozy breath.

    Again, poetic. I enjoy this new twist in your tone.

  2. Really? This just came back from the Magazine I was telling you about with a 'thanks' but 'no thanks'
    Never mind, onwards and upwards, I am still a novice after all.
    Thanks for the input.

  3. I'll send you an email with my thoughts about that.

  4. Holy smokes! (My father's favorite epithet.) I agree with Brad that the stretching of your elongated neck is a fine, delicious image. Is this all there is to this, or is this just an excerpt?

    Brad and I have via email decided that you are indeed the lady in the photo with the Underwood typewriter, and that's that. You can claim to be 93 all you want to, but we know the truth.

    By the way, the more of your snippets I read here, the more I like them. You take getting used to, but once the effort is made, the joys are there.

  5. Oh my heart is filled with Joy at your comments. My two best and wonderful Champions, it matters not that this piece was sent back but that you both appreciated the style.
    Brad, whatever you did for me on that website you mentioned, it worked. They are coming out of the woodwork. Thank you, thank you, thank you.XXX

  6. Darling lady, you didn't answer my question. Is this a fragment of something larger or is this the whole thing?

  7. Sorry Don, I was so busy pulling up my woolen stockings and fixing my ear trumpet, I didn't hear you.
    This is the piece as it was written, which I submitted to a magazine under Flash Fiction. Brad has since emailed me to suggest other options ie; extend it into a prose/poetry story and try it again somewhere else.
    When it came back I wasn't sure if I liked it so I put in on the blog for some feedback.

  8. I want to go to bed with this post. So much fun.

  9. Matt, you are very generous as always with your comments. Thank you.

  10. Thank you for your great words and stories.


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