I'm not sure my fingers can remember what to do but let's give it a whirl anyway eh?
Why? You've got nothing to report, not about The Script at any rate?
No, there's nothing to report on that but they might like to know what we've been up to since we last spoke don't you think?
OK, get on with it already, people have got better things to do than hang onto your every word lady.
Shush, you're putting me off, now where were we? Oh, yes, the holiday. We went up to Yorkshire didn't we and stayed in the cottage, that was lovely, pity we had to move on but then had we known what we know now we'd have probably stayed put but never mind.
Are you talking about the place in Norfolk?
Of course, it wasn't that bad.
Speak for yourself, too many mirrors for my liking.
Yes, there were rather a lot of those but it was very pretty don't you think, very quintessential England?
If you say so, I suppose, yes alright, during the day it was picturesque, very chocolate box, but...
I know what you're going to say...
At night it was down right creepy - there, I've said it.
Even you have to admit there was something, you know...odd about the place.
It's a shame because it really was a pretty place by day.
So you did sense something? I knew it!
Alright, there may have been a certain undercurrent, a something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
Ha! What about the clock? Tell them about the clock!
Oh come now, that was something and nothing. Probably just dust.
It was not just dust, that clock was perfectly all right in Yorkshire and then the minute we stepped foot into that other place -
It stopped. It was a bit weird wasn't it?
It was spooky that's what it was and I'm telling you now...we weren't alone.
Oh come on that's ridiculous, of course we were it's just that the place took on a different atmosphere at night that's all, you're being over dramatic.
So how do you explain what happened?
I don't know, like I said, dust.
So even though we tried all those different batteries and nothing, the minute we go out and buy a new clock...
The old one started working again, it proves nothing.
Someone or something was messing with us. What about the chair?
A chair like that was always going to have history it was Victorian.
But you said you felt as though someone was sitting in it, you had to turn the other way to sleep you said, couldn't settle you said...
Oh for goodness sake. Yes, the chair freaked me out a little bit but honestly other than that the place was fine.
I think you were put off because it was an old chapel, you didn't like the nooks and crannies.
No I didn't like the nooks and crannies or not being able to see who was coming down the corridor even though I could hear someone quite clearly and called out.
I told you we were all outside, it must have been an echo from the garden.
Do I look as if I came down with yesterday's rain! There was someone in the house I tell you and it was broad daylight.
You have to admit that the Hamlet was lovely even if it was in the middle of no-where.
Middle of no-where, it was the village of the damned, not even a bloody mobile signal. They could have made their move any time they wanted and no-one would have been any the wiser.
Calm down, who are you talking about now?
Them, in the house.
Them? There's more than one now is there?
Has to be, a place like that's probably got loads of hangers on.
So you don't want to book for next year then?
Are you trying to be funny?