Tuesday, 14 May 2013


Hello, do you have a ticket for The Mousetrap tomorrow afternoon please? I only want one.

The only availability is in the balcony.

Oh. Oh dear. Do you mean the very top?

Yes. The top level.

Oh no, I can't get up there I'm afraid. (Pause) So, you've got nothing in the stalls then?

No, I'm sorry, we are sold out apart from the balcony.

Well I never. How do people get to hear about stuff being on? I only just heard about it and your sold out?

(Clears throat politely) Actually, it's been on sale for the past eighteen months. It's the 60th anniversary tour.

Well I've never seen it advertised.

It's been in the paper both locally and nationally, the Internet of course and through our brochures. It's also been covered by television and radio with it being 60 years.

I don't have a paper, I don't do Internet and very rarely watch television. How can I find out for next time?

(Stunned silence.)

Would you like to be on our mailing list perhaps?

I don't like giving that kind of information out. Is there any other way?