It takes a lot for me to be able to pick up the telephone these days. I'm just about able to make myself understood to family and friends but it's a different kettle of fish when it comes to complete strangers or worse still - the dreaded answer phone.
I needed to leave a message for the speech therapist.
I dialled the number and waited...
' Hello - You have reached the Speech and Language Therapy Service for ---shire'
Good. Got the right number.
' There is nobody available at the moment but if you would like to leave a message for one of the therapists please...'
Oh my God - surely not! It's not going to ask me to 'please speak clearly after the tone?'
'...do so after the tone, leaving your name and telephone number and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.'
Now, how long have I got...